Wouldn't life be easier if we could pick and chose our families? I also think it's strange that we treat people we barely know much better than our own families. Maybe it's because the familiarity is there. Maybe because we know that in the end, love will win out. I can't say this enough...I wish I could go back to the past and change things. I didn't know at the time I was a strong woman and that someday I would be happy again.
But enough about that. I promised my beloved daughter I would give her space and I think part of that means not talking about this issue right now.
I did get a text from my daughter earlier today to tell me that my former father-in-law passed away. I feel badly for the family; not so sure how it affects me personally. It did make me realize, once again, how short life can be and we should make the most of every moment. A huge cliche, but very true nonetheless.
I have a very unique opportunity to make things right again and I'm not about to ruin it with any selfish thought I might have.
So I will talk about how much I'm loving being married. Every chance I get I throw the word "husband" about and found out this evening Joel has been doing the same things. (Huge smile) I've been single since 1990 and with each passing year, gave a little of that hope away that I would ever find someone who loved me as much as I loved him. God, you amaze me everyday! And not to be crude or anything, but running around naked with each other makes me feel a little naughty and a little innocent at the same time. Like we're a couple kids having fun with the joys of marriage and being ok with all of it. Hard to explain. Anyone reading this who is married will understand (I hope).
One thing I was reading today was about Adam and Eve and how they shared fellowship with God in the Garden before the Fall. It reminds me of how I am with God when I feel my life is right with Him. When I've messed up (and that's usually big time), I run from Him. Just like Adam and Eve did once they ate of the forbidden fruit. They knew their relationship had changed drastically with God and they ran from Him. I've done the same.
But now, I'm having fun. Sometimes I feel like we're a couple kids newly married and discovering just exactly what fun sex can be. At my age? Why not!
Most Assuredly Blessed,
Me
A place to unload the worries of the day and celebrate the knowledge I am not alone in this crazy world!
Not that this applies to you but because of my family I like to say: Friends are God's way of apologizing for Family. I'm not close to most of my family but I'm extremely close to my friends. I choose to only keep positive people in my life and refuse to be a part of the drama. This of course means I've had to let go of certain family members. But my kids are happy, and I am happy. So I know i've made the right decision.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm proud to call you my friend :)
Oh! And my kids aren't the ones I let go! I let go of siblings and a parent and certain in-laws. Haha! Just re-read what I wrote and didn't want to give the wrong impression :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amy. I'm glad to be a part of your chosen group. You've given me much to think about already as it applies to my family and I really appreciate your feedback. I will never give up hope that God is in the details; tomorrow is kind of a test for me because it's my grandson's birthday and I'll see all my children there. Not a test so much as the first contact after the issue was brought up. I want my children to have whatever time and space they need, but I also need to be there for the grandbabies. So we'll see. I'm sure I'll be posting some thoughts about how it went.
ReplyDelete