Grace Through the Fog

What shall I write for today?  I texted my previously-written-about-daughter about the letters I sent to the children to see if they arrived...all she texted back was "NO!", as if it were my fault the mail didn't arrive on the day I thought it should have.  Another "promise" broken, apparently. 

I don't know why she won't talk to me.  I don't know what's going on in her life.  I don't know why she hates me.  Mothers don't always do the right thing by their children; sometimes we make huge mistakes.  But that doesn't mean we get to hate our mothers.  I sometimes think I'm getting paid back for treating my mother the way I did.  I'm crying much more than I ever have, even after my mother died, because this is something that can be fixed and she refuses to let me fix it.  Will time heal this?  I don't know this time.  I apparently irritate her too much right now. 

I don't want to "break up" with my daughter.  I want to "break up" with stress.  What with being fired from my job, having my gall bladder removed and recovering slowly, being in pain all the time, having my daughter hating me, facing a total hysterectomy in two weeks, and having no money to speak of (thank you, my wonderful and generous husband for taking care of all the finances right now...I love you very much), there are times I just want to give up.  Life is so hard!  How can I bare it? 

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh...blessed be the Name of the Lord.

I did something I've never done before...I picked up the phone and called my sister.  She is also a Christian and just allowed me to cry and talk.  She listened, which is exactly what I needed.  We talked about everything and nothing and God and the Bible and it worked!  I hung up with renewal in my heart and a smile on my lips.  Thank you, Debby.  You are a blessing in my life and I love you.

Another hurdle handled.