The weekends go by so quickly. Too quickly. Wasn't it just minutes ago that I told myself "oh, good...it's Friday night and I have two days off"? Why can't the weekdays pass that fast?
I sometimes wonder if I could get by on disability. The fibromyalgia and degenerative disk disease is making it harder and harder to do the work I'm supposed to be doing. I can't stand for more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time before my back feels like a brick is pressing down on my spine. My meds make me sleepy and the fibromyalgia does crazy things to my concentration. Is it fair to the consumers who count on me to get things done? Is it fair to me to put my body through things that make it hurt so much?
Why can't I just wake up and feel normal for once?
Lots of questions with no answers. I know Jesus bore my pain on the cross, so why do I still hurt? Am I reaping what I've sowed? Do I need to change the way I speak about my body and how it feels?
Faith is a funny thing sometimes. I can have faith to move mountains for other people, but when I need to have faith for myself, I struggle. I pray and know that God hears me. Am I praying wrong? Am I praying for the wrong things or for the wrong reasons? Should I even be praying for myself? Shouldn't I be putting others before myself?
I wish I knew.
A place to unload the worries of the day and celebrate the knowledge I am not alone in this crazy world!
thought it was just me that had those same questions going through my head.
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