Be Anxious For Nothing

How do I get to the point where I no longer feel guilty for things that happened in the past?  I've had first-hand knowledge of needing to forgive someone a grave injustice, yet I have yet to be forgiven. 

Seriously, I was an abused woman who had extremely low self-esteem.  I couldn't even pick out my own friends, for Pete's sake.  Anyone who's been in that situation understands how I could "allow" the abuses in our lives. Those were dark, dark times.  Again, I take the blame and the fury accompanying it.  I was left behind to pick up the pieces while my ex-husband sat back and earned a college degree, (free for him, mind you) in his prison cell.  Doesn't seem quite right.  Can someone explain this to me?

I get angry when I think about it.  I love each of my children and know they are extremely talented, gifted adults.  But unless I pick up the phone and call one of them, I don't hear from them at all.  And even then, it's to tell me I haven't called in a long time and they are hurt by that.  I see other people get loving attention from their children, no matter how many mistakes they made, and it just makes me sad.  I miss them.  

I have prayed over this situation and I have to be patient.  I know God is working all things together for me and He has a different perspective on this than I do.  If I'm feeling anxious, I need to lay it at His feet and allow Him to continue the work I know He's already started.

I really just want my family back.