Wait...Was that fall???

I woke up to frost on the windows and a crunch on the ground.  What happened to that glorious season between summer and winter?  Did I blink?  The space between the seasons appears to be getting shorter and shorter all the time.

Maybe it's because I'm cold all the time.  Maybe it's because I'm getting older.  Whatever the reason, I don't think I like this new timeline.  It's 39 degrees outside and I don't even have a winter jacket yet!

IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!

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I've been in a deep fog these past few months.  Literally walking in a cloud.  I sleep more than I'm awake, dream more than I live, and cry more than I laugh.  Life has become too exhausting and sad to want to live it.

I'm too tired to even finish this.

The Pen

I have a chance to get a fountain pen.  There's something about writing with a fountain pen that gives value to the words.  The main reason for my journals, other than venting, of course, is for my descendents. Can you imagine if our ancestors had done the same, what precious little secrets they could have left behind?  I would choose my words carefully with a fountain pen.  I think it would bring out the secret scholar that lives inside my brain and allow her to exist for that time I am writing.  The one I wanted to be as a child.  The one I gave all my words to.

Oh my.  I do believe I've had an epiphany.  When this happens, when I've realized something (thank you, Lord) about my psyche, about myself, it's a beautiful and hushed moment.  The truth truly does set you free!  And it all started with a fountain pen!


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Progress

Weight this morning:  187

Joel and I have started using Whey Protein shakes for meal replacements.  I'm not sure what to think, although they are very good when processed in the vita-mix type blender we purchased on Amazon.  In fact, they taste like a shake and they do fill me up.  I've had a bit of a problem with tummy issues, but I ate some steak for supper and my tummy fills a little better.  Maybe I'll do the meal replacements twice a day and have one regular meal.  We'll see what happens on the scale tomorrow.

I learned something today.  All these years of trying to diet, trying to lose weight and get thin, have been for my own benefit.  What's so wrong with that?  I've been trying to get the glory for myself.  The truth is, I am not my own, but I belong to God.  My mindset has to change so that whatever I do, I do for His glory.  That puts a whole new perspective on dieting.  In fact, it makes it more of a lifestyle and not a diet at all, doesn't it?  Of course, my body will still reap the benefits of being fit, looking better, and being healthy, but the focus won't be on myself.

Maybe this is the reason I've failed so many times in the past.  Maybe this is the reason I feel hope today.  I'm excited because for the first time, I see victory in the future.  I can focus on God and not so much on myself and how I look.  I can start today.

Dieting is Such Great Fun! - Step 1

I've lost the first 40+ lbs, so now I'm on to the next 40 lbs. I can't get complacent. I must persevere. Today is day 1 of many, but I can do this. It's just a matter of giving it over to God and following His lead. Allowing myself to feel the uncomfortableness of wanting, desiring, craving...then feeling the victory and satisfaction of not giving in to that desire. It's really wonderful when that happens. I can tell myself, "I've succeeded one more time!" 

 For those of you who are struggling with this same thing, let me tell you, it's really a battle of the mind you're dealing with here. You're not really "hungry". You're bored. You have a bad habit. You're used to sitting in front of the TV, munching on this and that and you don't like change. Change has to come...no...the desire within you to change has to come...before anything will be any different. Do it one step at a time. 

Here's tip #1: Drink a glass of cold water next time you think you're hungry. Chances are your body needs fluids and water is the best thing to drink. You'll fill your little tummy and your body will think it's full! True story...I won't lie!

Let's try this for week 1 and see how it works.  I'll do it, too.  If you want to dress it up a tad, add apple slices and a stick of cinnamon to the water for a touch a flavoring.  Added benefit:  the cinnamon boosts your metabolism!

Weight today:  189.5

What's yours?  Be honest!

Life is a Journey of Love

[ David’s Prayer ] Then King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said:“Who am I, Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? 2 Samuel 2:18

This valley we are in, this testing (if that's what it is),  doesn't matter.  God has promised to be with me no matter what.  He will never leave me nor will He walk away from me.  Even now, with no jobs and no insurance, with many health issues facing both Joel and I, He walks with me. He is holding my hand, assuring me that He is providing and taking care of all of our needs.  I am sure and steady, knowing that my Father is in charge and He knows how all of this will end.  I am not afraid of the future because He is already there.

What a wonderful feeling this is!  What a wonderful God I worship and love!  The fact that I can even go to the Lord and question these valleys and hard places is an honor and a privilege.  My life is settled in His hands and I am not afraid of what I might have to face.  No.  Because He is with me.

"And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.

This verse is from Joel 2:28 and I believe it can be applied to all of us.

The other morning I awoke from a dream that could only have been from God.  Let me explain.

I dreamed I was eating with some friends in a small diner.  When I went to pay for my meal, I noticed that my purse was missing.  I asked the waitress about it and she said a lady had just left with it and gave me her address.  My friends and I went to the location the waitress had given us, which was an old house that had been divided into apartments.  The building was much like the ones I grew up in.  We walked in and located her door, which was up a flight of stairs.  The stairs were dark and steep; at the top of the stairs was an antique door with chipped white paint.  We didn't knock, but walked right in.  She was standing in the middle of her kitchen, appearing shocked that I had found her.  I saw my purse on her kitchen table.  She had several family members in the kitchen with her, and toddlers and babies were on the floor.  I immediately sensed that she had pain in her heart and many needs.  I put my arms around her and started to pray, asking God to provide for this woman and her family.  Her family and my friends began to encircle us, praying out loud as well.  As we were praying, a voice like rushing waters came upon us and I knew it was the Lord.  The voice became so loud, I could no longer hear myself speak, so I just listened.  All I physically heard was the sound of the rushing waters, but I knew the Lord was saying that as I was praying for this woman's needs to be met, mine and my husband's needs were likewise being met to overflowing.

I actually woke up with the sound of the rushing waters, the Lord's voice, still in my ears, slowly fading.

Words don't do that justice.  The Lord has said it all.  All I know is that the Lord is good and greatly to be praised and I trust Him.  He WILL supply all of our needs according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus.  (See Phil. 4:19)

Sweepstakes

I just entered another contest.  This one, if I win, will get me tons of goodies, plus a two night stay at a Marriott.  That would be so sweet.  Joel and I didn't even stay in a hotel after we got married.  We've never stayed in a hotel.  I would swim, relax, eat chocolates, roll around on the bed...it would be great.  A night away from the house would be perfect for us.

Letter From My Father

My dear Daughter,

I know your value; I see your potential.  You may not understand everything you are going through right now.  But hold your head up high, knowing that I am in control and I have a great plan and purpose for your life.  Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you’d hoped, but My Word says that My ways are better and higher than your ways, and even when everybody else rejects you, remember, I stand before you with My arms open wide.  I always accept you.  I always confirm your value.  I see your good moves!  You are My prized possession.  No matter what you go through in life, no matter how many disappointments you suffer, your value in My eyes always remain the same.  You will always be the apple of My eye.  I will never give up on you, so don’t give up on yourself. 

Your Loving Father, 

God 

 

Showing the World Through My Eyes

Photography.  It has become one of my favorite pastimes...to capture a grouping or image that stirs something within me...something that inspires.  This has become my art.  There is a brilliant world out there and if I am patient enough, I will find it.  I have some pictures I'm already proud of and would love to have prints made of them...will have to get moving on that.

This barn is located about two miles from where Joel and I call home.  It's an example of the style of picture I love...old, abandoned, broken down.  Places like this speak to me.  They call out to me...they scream, "Don't forget me!" and I have to stop and remember that they were once vibrant places...useful and meaningful.

New Things

I have now joined Vocalpoint, a site where I give opinions on products I use (I think).  I'm not quite sure how it all works yet, but am excited to try it out.  Here's the link:


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We'll see what happens.  Of course, I'll let you know what I find out as it unfolds for me, too.  Exciting!  I love surprises!

2013, already???

Well, we managed to survive the "end of the world".  Way to go, Mayans!  I have to admit, I was a bit intrigued.  A little curious.  But here we are.  I almost wish the world would've ended so we wouldn't have to live through the mess the government is causing us right now.  I have a new respect for those who fought in the Revolutionary War and the Civil War...I think it may come to that for us.

Where did those men and women find the courage and the grace to face their adversaries?  They grabbed their guns and fought for their freedoms without question.  I never really understood that concept until now.  I've always taken my freedoms for granted, probably because they were never threatened as they are now.  We used to take pride in our America, pride in the flag, pride in the Pledge of Allegiance.  I'm not sure if our children even know what those things stand for anymore.